At last! The new year has been heartily welcomed in by the world, starting with Asia, then Europe, and finally the Jonas Brothers in NY (which coincidently had more humping than LEDs on the New Years Eve Ball). Past all the confetti and balloons in Times Square and the silly string being shot amongst my friends down here in The Woodlands, I can’t help but see how little I have changed this past year.

Sure, I always say that I’ve changed at least a bit when people ask, but when I look back at ‘08 I’ve come to realize that I’m still the same person. This might not be such a bad thing, but with all this talk about resolutions going on, I feel like I should’ve changed more since last year. I might have met new people, befriended others, lost myself in another crowd but I’m still battling the same problems it seems.

“Why can’t I change?” is the question I ask myself. Is it because there is no reason? Is it because it’s out of my hands? I’d like to think I have some control over my life. Yet lately it seems like I don’t.

I think the thing that I would most want to change is to be more outgoing. I know I probably don’t seem like the shy type when I’m around friends, but who is when they’re hanging out with close friends? Truth is, I hide a lot from people, which is something I’m not sure if I should be ashamed about. There are so many things I want to say, but I’m so afraid of being judged or shot down that I would rather stay silent. Is that a character flaw?

Either way, flaw or not, I think this year might be the year that I change all that. Of course, that’s what I said last year… so maybe I’m just fighting for a hopeless cause.

Happy New Year..

NV